Songwriting Journal - Passion

The process of songwriting, for me, comes from a place of interpersonal exploration. Little moments with loved ones, whether frustrating or inspiring, an enticing string of words in conversation or movies or books, old memories that want to be explored – these are the things that catch a tune in my head and morph into songs. As the writing process goes along, the songs take on their own unique character and point of view, eventually bearing little resemblance to the point of inspiration, which still remains, but only as a shadow in the background.
The original inspiration for the song Passion is taken directly from conversations with my mother. I can, on occasion, be heard whining about growing up in a non-artistic household. True, there was appreciation of the arts, but since neither of my parents had artistic leanings, at least none that they acted on, they encouraged me in areas within their comfort zone (academics, athletics), and I was left to sort out the rest for myself. My efforts on stage did not go unnoticed - my father was known to swell with pride following one of my performances at school. And, I am certain that my mother did all the things moms do to support their kids in their activities, driving to and fro, buying costumes and uniforms, etc. But when it came down to it, my mother looked upon me as some sort of oddity, something outside the norm; a puzzle she knew existed but had no clue how to solve.
I think my mother was actually concerned about my path in life, and perhaps with good reason. Lawd knows show business ain’t easy. More than once she pointed out how my focus on performing arts was making my life more difficult than it need be. If only I could set aside this drive, this passion of mine, then I might have a chance at a normal and easier life. But I am who I am, and even after having children, which provided some common ground for the two of us, my work continued, and I could sense the cluck of her concern in every conversation.
My mom was certain that my drive, my passion was unique, but I disagree. I think everyone has a passion. It may involve career, a relationship, a hobby, an addiction, watching TV, or a behavior pattern that feeds some deep seated need – but we all have something. We all have a passion. So, that’s what the song Passion is about, the thing that blows you skirts up, or gets your juices flowing. Very often at live shows I’ll ask if anyone is brave enough to share his or her passion. One night, a fun lady I know announced to the room that her passion is belly dancing. So, there you have it – this song is about belly dancing, or whatever it is that lights your fire.

passion
© cheryl fare 2007

You have a passion, she said, you have a drive
But she made it sound like something dirty,
something I should hide
You have a passion, she said, well don’t we all?
To build, to eat, to breathe, to learn
Or do nothing much at all

Hmmm I think about it all the time
Hmmm I dream about it all the time
I can’t put it down, and I can’t make it fit
No matter what I do, there’s just no cure for it
Must be a passion

What is it you crave? Can you give it a name?
Does it bloom into love, or curl back into pain?
Do you use it to heal, or just cover up
the hole in your heart that never gets enough?

You have a passion, uh-huh, you have a drive
The devil voice that calls you home,
Or the angel by your side.
You have a passion, uh-huh, well don’t we all?
To build, to eat, to breathe, to learn
Or do nothing much at all

Hmmm you think about it all the time
Hmmm you dream about it all the time
you can’t put it down, and you can’t make it fit
No matter what you do, there’s just no cure for it
Must be a passion, Just a harmless passion
A yen, an itch, a passion, I can quit when I want - passion
We all got one – passion, Can’t put it down – passion
Can’t make it fit – passion, It’s just a little passion

Songwriting Journal - Stones in My Pocket

On the surface, Stones in My Pocket is a bittersweet remembrance of a song, a reflection of a past relationship, still treasured, but long gone. But below the surface, there is something more to be shared and explored. The impetus for this song, written back in 2000, came from a ripple of memory, some words said by an old friend that took on new and deeper meaning. And isn’t that the quality all our truly meaningful relationships have? No matter who the people are that fill our every day lives, the relationships that really matter are the ones that stick with us over time, through changes and ins and outs, continuing to echo with meaning at every step along the way. Maybe we see them every day, or never will again - maybe they we there for years, or maybe just five loaded minutes every few years or so. Whether or not we see them every day, the impact our treasured few have on shaping who we are becoming stays with us, mirrored in how we see the eyes in our reflection, and in the choices that we make. It’s as if we carry them, like little stones in our pockets, taking them out in quiet moments to roll around on our palm, noting the new ways that old snippets of conversation resonate from where we are standing now. It’s these people, the relationships that continue to sing with meaning, that are celebrated with this song.

stones in my pocket
© cheryl fare 2000

Carry you with me, roll you around some
Carry you with me, deep in my heart
Carry you with me, like stones in my pocket
Memories bittersweet and never forgot
never forgot

The minutes fly, the stars spin
My hair's gone grey and my eyes are dim
But your face it shines, those sweet words you say
My mind falls back like I met you today, and I

Carry you with me, roll you around some
Carry you with me, deep in my heart
Carry you with me, like stones in my pocket
Memories bittersweet and never forgot
never forgot

Reminiscence all my own,
recollection calls my heart home,
all these years could pull you away,
but the longer you're gone, the closer you stay
the longer you're gone, the closer you stay, and I

Carry you with me, roll you around some
Carry you with me, deep in my heart
Carry you with me, like stones in my pocket
Memories bittersweet and never forgot
never forgot
never forgot
I never forgot

Songwriting Journal - Same Old Dance

I'm not sure if this is a smart move or not, but the writing I've been doing the past week is a new song, so I've decided to share some fresh lyrics here. This one is for all of you out there who share a piece of your life with someone who travels. I'll move this song on stage soon, so I hope to see you then.

Same Old Dance
©cheryl fare 2009

I’m tired of watching you walkin’ away
Without sayin’ goodbye
Like that dulls the pain
And I’m standin’ here in the hole you leave behind
If I stood right here for a month, or a few
You’d come rollin’ back
Like you always do
With the freshest words, and that lonely in your eyes

And I will take your hand
I will dance that same old dance
I will know how this will end
And I still dance that dance

Instrumental break

I will take your hand
And I will dance that same old dance
I will know how this will end
And I still dance that dance
I will dive into your eyes
Blow right past your little white lies
I still know how this will end
And I still dance that dance

And there’s no point tryin’ to change the man I see
And there’s no point pining for how I know it could be
So I’ll stand right here with my aching open arms
And love you here and now the way you are
I’ll stand right here with my aching open arms
And love you here and now the way you are

I’m tired of watching you walkin’ away
Without sayin’ goodbye
Like that dulls the pain
And I’m standin’ here in the hole you leave behind
If I stood right here for a month, or a few
You’d come rollin’ back
Like you always do
With the freshest words, and that lonely in your eyes

Songwriting Journal - This Thing

I have been married for a long time. Even when you have been married for a long time, and are happy overall, you still meet people. You still meet people you are interested in. You still feel that elusive spark, that certain something that draws you to another person, even when your life is well entwined with your chosen mate. So, when you meet someone, and you’re already committed to another, whether you’ve been married 20 years or engaged for 3 months, the question becomes – what do you do with that, what does it mean?
The range of options seems pretty obvious. Run away; avoid at all costs – a good option for the straight arrows. Dabble with the new flame, and risk ruining what you already have. Or perhaps, as the old saying goes, throw the baby out with the bath water, drop what you’ve got, and dive into the unknown. I’m guessing here, but it seems apparent by the rate of divorce in modern society, that many choose to dabble, or ditch their current situation, and go for the new thing that takes their breath away. Not that it’s ever that simple, but I know I can name at least one couple who ended this way, and I bet you can, too. There is, however, one other option, an option difficult to see through the fog. Let’s start with a brief historical analysis….
In centuries past, marriages were based mostly on tribal affiliations, dynastic concerns, economics, and procreation. The energy involved in basic subsistence, and having enough healthy children to keep the family business afloat, was about all people could manage. Relationship dynamics and monogamy were an afterthought - if you got on well with your mate, great, if not - SUX2BU. As human societies have evolved, we now have more time to consider the quality of our relationships, the notion of individual choice, and the powerful allure of the love match. The American passion for personal freedom has led us to an almost obsessive belief that the one key ingredient for a long-term relationship is that indefinable chemistry – the click, the spark, the love thing, the “soul mate”. Of course, anyone who has been married for a while can tell you for sure that the bliss we all seek is one of the first things to pass in a meaningful relationship, as you progress to levels of true intimacy. And yet, the allure of the “soul mate” endures, leading some to wander from one date to another for years on end, and others to destroy their marriages and careers in a huge bonfire of shame by traveling all the way to Argentina for a quick fix.
Part of the problem lies in our limited understanding of the phrase “soul mate”. After all, everyone with a significant role in our life, no matter how we feel about them, is a soul mate of one sort or another. These significant others come in all ages and genders, show up in our homes or out in the world, and stick around for years and years, or maybe only for a week. They are all our mates, here for us to learning, loving, and moving us along on our life path. Honoring our soul mates, and the spark we feel when they come along does not mean we have to abandon all that we are, and all the good things that we have created. Instead, it means that we are charged to remain open to learning and growth, without betraying our vows and our principles - a fine balance, and a challenge to maintain at times, but fully worth the effort.
In the spring of 1999 I wrote a song called This Thing. For me, This Thing is about the delusional nature of romantic love, what happens when you meet someone after you’re already in a committed relationship, and how our modern notion of “soul mate” gets in the way of meaningful interactions. That’s a lot for a ditty of about three and a half minutes, but there you have it. Give it a spin, and let me know what you think.

Why Seven Steps?

About a year ago, to my great surprise, I found myself in the midst of writing a self-help program of guided meditations. Even beyond surprise, the writing process was transformational, because during the time that this inspiring material was pouring through me, my father was slowly succumbing to congestive heart failure. In my last blog, I touched briefly on the topic of dementia. It’s not my intention to dwell on heavy subject matter, but once again, I must include a short mention of this big issue. For my father, dementia was sneaky and pernicious, a result of natural aging, and the accumulation of years of unhealthy choices. While he appeared to acquaintances to be of sound mind, the eroding process was slowly eating away at his ability to make sound judgments, stealing away the delights of his personality, and gradually laying waste to his relationships through irrational anger and paranoia. And so, as I reflect on my father’s transition and the writing process that took place a year ago, I choose to celebrate the power we all have to make healthy and loving choices, and use our gifts to create good in this life. Positive living absolutely attracts positive outcomes, so here we go……
The focus of the collection of guided meditations called Seven Steps to Positive Living is to affect beneficial change in people’s lives by providing material that is, first and foremost, easy and accessible. Easy, as in easy to fit into your day – each of the meditations runs less than 10 minutes, making it an natural fit for even the most schedule stressed individuals. No studying necessary, no special clothing or membership fees, just a few minutes in a quiet place, and you’re good to go! Accessible, as in welcoming to individuals of all belief systems – the mediations are flexible and appropriate for secular, or a multitude of spiritual or religious approaches. For those who have never tried meditation, and wonder how to get started, Seven Steps is a great introduction to creating quiet time in your hectic life, and reaping all the well-touted benefits of regular meditation. Those who have been practicing meditation for many years will also benefit from the Seven Steps pick-me-up of short sessions that lead you along a steady path of opening to greater awareness.
Most of us have heard more and more about the benefits of regular meditation in recent years. Mainstream media and medicine have become increasingly open to considering so-called “alternative” therapies in the treatment of both mental and physical illnesses, and improving overall quality of life. Of course, many of these alternative approaches have been around for centuries and eons, but who’s counting, right? America’s most read magazine, the Parade section from the good ol’ Sunday morning newspaper, included meditation in the December 14, 2008 article entitled “Alternative Therapies that REALLY WORK”. Their article cited positive effects on blood pressure, insulin and blood sugar regulation, heart health, improving concentration, reducing anxiety, and assisting patients dealing with post-traumatic stress disorders. If you like a scientific approach - the website for Psychology Today notes that neuroscientists have found that study subjects involved in regular meditation shifted the focus of their brain activity away from the stress-prone right frontal cortex, to the calmer area of the left frontal cortex, resulting in calmer and happier people overall. Sweet.
In case that’s not enough to convince you to give it a try, the federal government would like for you to feel better, too. The National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine, a division of the National Institute of Health has sponsored studies that have found the following positive results from regular meditation: relieves stress in caregivers for elderly patients with dementia; reduces the frequency and intensity of hot flashes in menopausal women; relieves symptoms of chronic back pain; improves attention-related abilities (alerting, focusing, and prioritizing); and relieves asthma symptoms.
Of course, those of a spiritual or religious bent know the importance of sacred quiet time, although they may call it by different names. Checking one of my favorite resources, Wikipedia, one can find a great variety of citations on this topic. From Buddhism to Judaism, almost every faith path known to man includes traditions of meditation as a necessary practice to enhance spiritual growth. A devout Muslim is obliged to pray at least five times a day. Christians, of course, generally use the term prayer when referring to sacred quiet time. The use of the rosary or prayer beads, the repitition of memorized prayers, and the emphasis on silent prayer are all forms of Christian meditation.
Getting back to Seven Steps to Positive Living, I would like to mention that the initial idea for the CD came about in midst of brainstorming with my friend and colleague, actress and healing practitioner, Katie McCall. (You can find Katie’s fabulous new website at http://www.mindovermattersuccess.com/.) For a short while, Katie lived out her fantasy of being a back-up singer by developing harmony for songs on my first CD, Springfield. While working on music, we began talking about ideas combining my writing with her skills as a voice-over talent, in a way that would benefit others along their path to a better life. We chose a specific audience to start with, the generous and loving congregation of Unity Christ Church of Bon Air in Richmond VA, designed the project to flow along with the fall book study program at the church, and used sales to raise money for the church’s expansion fund. All of these factors knitted nicely together, resulting in the initial release of Seven Steps to Positive Living in September of 2008.
Now, Seven Steps to Positive Living is widely available online in both digital formats, and old style CDs. A simple Internet search will turn up multiple sources, so Google, Bing, dial it up on iTunes, or visit me at http://www.cherylfare.com/ and give it a try, one at a time, or all together as a collection. Given how these meditations came to be, I feel strongly that these messages have the potential to affect positive change in many lives, and I feel it is my responsibility to do my best to spread the word. I’ll be writing again soon about the content of the Seven Steps meditations, as the material continues to develop. Even if Seven Steps to Positive Living isn’t your style, there are many ways to create sacred quiet time in your life. Whether you prefer to use your daily exercise as a time of reflection, or to brew a cup of tea and sit in a rocker for a few minutes before you start your day - whatever your style, take a few clearing breaths, and give yourself the gift of quiet time. You’ll feel better, and be better prepared to be a force for positive change in your relationships and community.
Thanks for reading!
Cheryl


Various Sources:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200304/the-benefits-meditation
http://nccam.nih.gov/health/meditation/overview.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meditation